...making Linux just a little more fun!


Why I love The Monastery

[Rick] (They loathe the "q word", too.) http://groups.google.com/group/alt.sysadmin.recovery/msg/ba3eec13a15e0d22

Newsgroups: alt.sysadmin.recovery
From: flaps@dgp.toronto.edu (Alan J Rosenthal)
Subject: the real reason you can't say "q***l" here
X-Nntp-Posting-Host: atlas.dgp.toronto.edu
Message-ID: <97ltlp$s21$1@atlas.dgp.toronto.edu>
Lines: 129
Organization: Dynamic Graphics Project, University of Toronto
Date: 1 Mar 2001 16:34:03 GMT
Approved: flaps@dgp.toronto.edu, yes flaps@dgp.toronto.edu
Lines: 129


Arthur: Who are you?

BOFHen: We are the BOFHen who say... LART!

Arthur (horrified): No! Not the BOFHen who say "LART!"

BOFHen: The same.

Arthur (to Bedevere): Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!

BOFHen: The BOFHen demand..... a clue!

Arthur: BOFHen, we are but simple travellers who seek free advice about the administration of our home linux machines.


Bedevere: No! Noooo! Aaaugh! No!

BOFHen: We shall LART you again... if you do not appease us.

Arthur: Well, what is it you want?

BOFHen: We want.....

(pregnant pause)

A 166 MHz Pentium!!!!

(minor music)

Arthur: A WHAT?


Arthur: No! No! Please, please, no more! We will find you a 166 MHz Pentium.

BOFHen: You must return here with a 166 MHz Pentium... or else you will never log in... alive.

Arthur: O BOFHen, you are just and fair, and we will return with a 166 MHz Pentium.

BOFHen: One that looks nice.

Arthur: Of course!

BOFHen: And not too expensive.

Arthur: Yes!

BOFHen (excitedly): THEN... Then, when you have found the 166 MHz Pentium, you must place it here, beside this 25 MHz 486, only slightly higher so we get the two-level effect with a little private ethernet running down the middle.

Then, when you have found the 166 MHz Pentium, you must process ten thousand e-mail messages a minute... wiiiiiithh... A HERRING!

(minor music)

Arthur: We shall do no such thing!

BOFHen: Oh, please!

Arthur: Process e-mail with a herring? Not even qmail would run on that!

BOFHen: AAugh! AAAAAH! Oww!! (writhe in pain) Don't say that word!

Arthur: What word?

BOFHen: I cannot tell; suffice to say, it is one of the words the denizens of alt.sysadmin.recovery cannot hear!

Arthur: How can we not say the word if you don't tell us how you expect us to run the system fast enough not to queue mail?

(BOFHen are in pain again)

BOFHen: Ahhhh! He said it again!

Arthur: What, "if"?

BOFHen: No, not "if"! You couldn't write many computer programs without saying "if"!

Bedevere: My liege! It's Sir Robin!

Sir Robin and his minstrels "ride" up.

Minstrels (singing): He's sacking it in, and packing it up,

Robin: My liege! Finally that qmail ftp is done and I could come down to the pub.

BOFHen: Now he's said the word!

Arthur: Surely you've not given up on trying to get foo.example.net on-line by tomorrow morning?

Minstrels, by way of answering: He's sneaking away, and buggering off,

Robin: Shut up! No no, no, I've got qmail building right now!

BOFHen: He said the word again!

Robin: ... I was... estimating the load at which we'd begin to queue mail...


Robin: uh, here -- here while sitting on a lawn along the canal.

Arthur: No, there's a routing problem between the wireless network here and www.qmail.org.

BOFHen: Aaaaaaugh! Stop saying the word!!!!

Arthur (getting really amused by the BOFHen): OH, STOP MAKING ME QUEUE MAIL!!

BOFHen: Ow! He said it again!

[Rick] among others, http://private.homepages.intershop.de/~wolf/python/grail.ni.html

It's just too bad that I had to lose the part where Roger the Shrubber says in an accusatory tone, "Are you relaying spam through that old woman?"